Skip to main content

Sarcasm 101

This page is dedicated to witty and sarcastic comments by me, if you can, make up one and add it as a comment.

  •  A man driving without seat-belts has an accident and is thrown forward towards the dashboard. A figurine of Jesus with both arms raised poke him in the eye leaving him blind. Doctor's diagnosis said he was blinded by religion.

  •  She said her body is the house of the Lord. I said, "I was glad when they said onto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" 

  • white women with lascivious curves, eg Scarlett Johansson, were created in secret labs by the Illuminati to cause the downfall of black men

  •  The thing about quotes from the internet is, there's no way to verify their authenticity - by William Shakespeare

  • Matt Damon believes strongly in two things, sequels and reincarnation. Basically, he believes he will be Bourne again. 

  • After scientifically observing the female Homo sapien in her natural environment, The Mall, over an extended period of time I've come up with a scientific law known as the law of MINI SKIRTS;

It states:
When comparing ladies wearing mini skirts, length of skirt (L) is inversely proportional to length of hair (H).

L = k/H (where k is a constant of proportionality)

ie: The longer the hair the shorter the skirt.

  • Rihanna or Chris Brown who do I refers? Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time

  • Chris Brown announced he'll be releasing a new album, "Chris Brown's Greatest Hits", the album art is a picture of Rihanna

  • Blackberry Porsche Gh¢3000.00; who said talk is cheap

  • Rolex Watch with diamonds $6500; because time is money

  • High price of coffins; because the cost of living is high

  • talking alarm watch; because time will tell
  • long banking queues; because it pays to wait

  • algebra; because your Ex gives you problems

  • Stevie Wonders love songs; because love is blind

  • you can't afford a valentine gift; because money can't buy love

  • blackmail; because knowledge is power

  • Shoprite prices, Gh¢6.99; because change is constant

  • Prince Tagoe playing for Black Stars? Even George Bush became president of America

  • The search for Osama bin Laden; a good man is hard to find

  • Lost on the Tetteh Quarshie interchange; what goes around comes around
  • I heard Seal and Heidi are divorced; so much for Beauty and the Beast

Popular posts from this blog

God is My Barber

The sickness that made the Vulture bald
would have killed the Crow.

It is because
the gods are petty
and would not be questioned
about who they show favor to,
That Crows live to,
Squawk hysterically
At Vultures' misfortune.

We have come to understand, that,
when a petty god is your barber,
Crows, who can't afford a razor,
with their benevolent destinies,
will punctuate our precious peace
with their shameless snickering.

the Vulture
pays any mind
wages a war of words
with mockers and scoffers;
for the cure for baldness
is not found in the laughter of Crows...

*****April 4, 2017*****
My Second poem about Vultures. I really need to stop this...😂😂😂

Finding God

The inexplicable
Is proof there's a God.

This, for me,
Is where doubt began.
For if we know today
More than we did yesterday
Then, God is
a constantly contracting chamber of ignorance.

Now if it is so
And God is the Lord of gaps
Then men of religion
May be forgiven
For their unrelenting battle
Against knowledge;
The God killer.

But if God is
the beginning of wisdom
And his people perish
For lack of knowledge
And if we know today
More than we did yesterday

Then it stands to reason
That the God to believe in
Is an ever expanding explosion of knowledge.

I have no faith
In the God of gaps
For God must be Omniscient
And ignorance is not
This, for me, is where doubt ends.

*****April 22, 2017*****

They Don't Teach us how to Grieve

They don't teach young men How to grieve.

Be a man, Stand strong, Men don't cry, They say.
That's how we are made.
Somewhere, There's a conveyor belt Constantly chucking out Boys, with pent-up toxic emotions, Shoulders hunched under the weight of society's expectations.
There's a piece of wood in my mouth I bite hard on it praying I don't black out As I saw off another weakness I saw in the mirror.
Something about Better to enter the Kingdom With one arm...
I don't know...
A brother died today,