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Sarcasm 101

This page is dedicated to witty and sarcastic comments by me, if you can, make up one and add it as a comment.


  •  A man driving without seat-belts has an accident and is thrown forward towards the dashboard. A figurine of Jesus with both arms raised poke him in the eye leaving him blind. Doctor's diagnosis said he was blinded by religion.
    .

  •  She said her body is the house of the Lord. I said, "I was glad when they said onto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" 

  • white women with lascivious curves, eg Scarlett Johansson, were created in secret labs by the Illuminati to cause the downfall of black men

  •  The thing about quotes from the internet is, there's no way to verify their authenticity - by William Shakespeare

  • Matt Damon believes strongly in two things, sequels and reincarnation. Basically, he believes he will be Bourne again. 

  • After scientifically observing the female Homo sapien in her natural environment, The Mall, over an extended period of time I've come up with a scientific law known as the law of MINI SKIRTS;


It states:
When comparing ladies wearing mini skirts, length of skirt (L) is inversely proportional to length of hair (H).


L = k/H (where k is a constant of proportionality)


ie: The longer the hair the shorter the skirt.

  • Rihanna or Chris Brown who do I refers? Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time

  • Chris Brown announced he'll be releasing a new album, "Chris Brown's Greatest Hits", the album art is a picture of Rihanna

  • Blackberry Porsche Gh¢3000.00; who said talk is cheap

  • Rolex Watch with diamonds $6500; because time is money

  • High price of coffins; because the cost of living is high

  • talking alarm watch; because time will tell
 
  • long banking queues; because it pays to wait

  • algebra; because your Ex gives you problems

  • Stevie Wonders love songs; because love is blind

  • you can't afford a valentine gift; because money can't buy love

  • blackmail; because knowledge is power

  • Shoprite prices, Gh¢6.99; because change is constant

  • Prince Tagoe playing for Black Stars? Even George Bush became president of America

  • The search for Osama bin Laden; a good man is hard to find

  • Lost on the Tetteh Quarshie interchange; what goes around comes around
  • I heard Seal and Heidi are divorced; so much for Beauty and the Beast

Popular posts from this blog

Executioner's Business

I have not come here
To put back together
The Guinea fowl egg
That was broken on Her Majesty's sandals.

I am an Executioner.
The why and the how matters not,
It's the Who.

Those who in malice
Destroy good food in fits of pettiness
Then turn to mock the distended bellies
Of hungry children
Shall know no peace.

But today,
It is not scoffing egg breakers that vex me.

It is,
Those who in silence watched
While the dirty deed was done,
Unconcerned about hungry mouths,
Then proceeded to,
on the miscreants
behalf, plead for mercy,
It is they who stir my bile.

So may I not be blamed
When in swinging my blade
I, accidentally, chop off the heads
Of wailers who stand too close to the guilty.

The Executioner's job is urgent business
I have no time for the niceties
Of giving, those who loiter, final warnings.

***** August 3, 2016*****


Bedtime Epiphany of a Pining Heart

Tonight,
I contemplated
On things that were and were not,
On why
Light retracts different, in your eyes,
Like rainbows randomly ricocheting
Off my intangible thoughts,
Spellbinding...

On why,
Words sound different, on your lips,
How you laugh,
How the sounds take a path,
Across infinite dreams,
Into all my incarnations,
Into all my iterations,
Into all...

Tonight,
I concluded
You are a figment
of my imagination,
You must be...

For
God is not so cruel
That he made a Heaven like you
Then condemned me
To the Hell of perpetual longing
Wanting, and never belonging...

*****September 14, 2016*****


The Vulture

In times of famine,
The Vulture does not eat grass.
When Leopards are lean
because antelopes nowhere to be seen
The Vulture sits and watches,
Waiting...

Those who mocked his baldness
Will do well to remember
None has seen the Vulture's corpse
And he is secure in the knowledge that none will.

So,
when it rains
And they mock him
For having no nest still,
He holds his peace,
Watching...
For the Vulture, he's a patient animal.

The Vulture is not vindictive,
Those who mocked will die,
Those who didn't will die,
It matters not.
For when carcasses lay ripe
The Vulture does not ask
If his feast was once friend or foe

*****February 1, 2016*****