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Sarcasm 101

This page is dedicated to witty and sarcastic comments by me, if you can, make up one and add it as a comment.

  •  A man driving without seat-belts has an accident and is thrown forward towards the dashboard. A figurine of Jesus with both arms raised poke him in the eye leaving him blind. Doctor's diagnosis said he was blinded by religion.

  •  She said her body is the house of the Lord. I said, "I was glad when they said onto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" 

  • white women with lascivious curves, eg Scarlett Johansson, were created in secret labs by the Illuminati to cause the downfall of black men

  •  The thing about quotes from the internet is, there's no way to verify their authenticity - by William Shakespeare

  • Matt Damon believes strongly in two things, sequels and reincarnation. Basically, he believes he will be Bourne again. 

  • After scientifically observing the female Homo sapien in her natural environment, The Mall, over an extended period of time I've come up with a scientific law known as the law of MINI SKIRTS;

It states:
When comparing ladies wearing mini skirts, length of skirt (L) is inversely proportional to length of hair (H).

L = k/H (where k is a constant of proportionality)

ie: The longer the hair the shorter the skirt.

  • Rihanna or Chris Brown who do I refers? Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time

  • Chris Brown announced he'll be releasing a new album, "Chris Brown's Greatest Hits", the album art is a picture of Rihanna

  • Blackberry Porsche Gh¢3000.00; who said talk is cheap

  • Rolex Watch with diamonds $6500; because time is money

  • High price of coffins; because the cost of living is high

  • talking alarm watch; because time will tell
  • long banking queues; because it pays to wait

  • algebra; because your Ex gives you problems

  • Stevie Wonders love songs; because love is blind

  • you can't afford a valentine gift; because money can't buy love

  • blackmail; because knowledge is power

  • Shoprite prices, Gh¢6.99; because change is constant

  • Prince Tagoe playing for Black Stars? Even George Bush became president of America

  • The search for Osama bin Laden; a good man is hard to find

  • Lost on the Tetteh Quarshie interchange; what goes around comes around
  • I heard Seal and Heidi are divorced; so much for Beauty and the Beast

Popular posts from this blog

God is My Barber

The sickness that made the Vulture bald
would have killed the Crow.

It is because
the gods are petty
and would not be questioned
about who they show favor to,
That Crows live to,
Squawk hysterically
At Vultures' misfortune.

We have come to understand, that,
when a petty god is your barber,
Crows, who can't afford a razor,
with their benevolent destinies,
will punctuate our precious peace
with their shameless snickering.

the Vulture
pays any mind
wages a war of words
with mockers and scoffers;
for the cure for baldness
is not found in the laughter of Crows...

*****April 4, 2017*****
My Second poem about Vultures. I really need to stop this...😂😂😂

Bedtime Epiphany of a Pining Heart

I contemplated
On things that were and were not,
On why
Light retracts different, in your eyes,
Like rainbows randomly ricocheting
Off my intangible thoughts,

On why,
Words sound different, on your lips,
How you laugh,
How the sounds take a path,
Across infinite dreams,
Into all my incarnations,
Into all my iterations,
Into all...

I concluded
You are a figment
of my imagination,
You must be...

God is not so cruel
That he made a Heaven like you
Then condemned me
To the Hell of perpetual longing
Wanting, and never belonging...

*****September 14, 2016*****

Bambara Beans

You know how I can't stand it,
When you've had a bowl of beans,
And this six by six meters of room
Is raging hell and bitter perfume.

You know how it irks me,
When I hold my breath
And you laugh too hard
Till tears run down your cheeks
Ridged by parallel tribal marks.

You know I hate you
For not being here,
The air is clean
And I don't know how to breath easy.

They planted
sweet smelling flowers
On your grave
I want to rip them all out
And for you, in their place,
Plant Bambara beans,
So that, once again,
I can hold my breath
Whenever I come to visit you.

*****November 26, 2016*****

R. I. P Friend 😢