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Sarcasm 101

This page is dedicated to witty and sarcastic comments by me, if you can, make up one and add it as a comment.


  •  A man driving without seat-belts has an accident and is thrown forward towards the dashboard. A figurine of Jesus with both arms raised poke him in the eye leaving him blind. Doctor's diagnosis said he was blinded by religion.
    .

  •  She said her body is the house of the Lord. I said, "I was glad when they said onto me, let us go into the house of the Lord" 

  • white women with lascivious curves, eg Scarlett Johansson, were created in secret labs by the Illuminati to cause the downfall of black men

  •  The thing about quotes from the internet is, there's no way to verify their authenticity - by William Shakespeare

  • Matt Damon believes strongly in two things, sequels and reincarnation. Basically, he believes he will be Bourne again. 

  • After scientifically observing the female Homo sapien in her natural environment, The Mall, over an extended period of time I've come up with a scientific law known as the law of MINI SKIRTS;


It states:
When comparing ladies wearing mini skirts, length of skirt (L) is inversely proportional to length of hair (H).


L = k/H (where k is a constant of proportionality)


ie: The longer the hair the shorter the skirt.

  • Rihanna or Chris Brown who do I refers? Chris Brown beats Rihanna every time

  • Chris Brown announced he'll be releasing a new album, "Chris Brown's Greatest Hits", the album art is a picture of Rihanna

  • Blackberry Porsche Gh¢3000.00; who said talk is cheap

  • Rolex Watch with diamonds $6500; because time is money

  • High price of coffins; because the cost of living is high

  • talking alarm watch; because time will tell
 
  • long banking queues; because it pays to wait

  • algebra; because your Ex gives you problems

  • Stevie Wonders love songs; because love is blind

  • you can't afford a valentine gift; because money can't buy love

  • blackmail; because knowledge is power

  • Shoprite prices, Gh¢6.99; because change is constant

  • Prince Tagoe playing for Black Stars? Even George Bush became president of America

  • The search for Osama bin Laden; a good man is hard to find

  • Lost on the Tetteh Quarshie interchange; what goes around comes around
  • I heard Seal and Heidi are divorced; so much for Beauty and the Beast

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They don't teach young men How to grieve.

Be a man, Stand strong, Men don't cry, They say.
That's how we are made.
Somewhere, There's a conveyor belt Constantly chucking out Boys, with pent-up toxic emotions, Shoulders hunched under the weight of society's expectations.
There's a piece of wood in my mouth I bite hard on it praying I don't black out As I saw off another weakness I saw in the mirror.
Something about Better to enter the Kingdom With one arm...
I don't know...
A brother died today,

Bats at 37

When bats at 37 take to flight, At a quarter past four Or, whatever time Accra heralds the night,

When bats at 37 take to flight, For me, there's not a more beautiful sight Of creatures, imagined or real, That lay claim to these glorious skies.

When bats at 37 take to flight, With fevered screeches that punctuate the night When by sheer numbers they darken the skies And, below, people of a superstitious disposition Can not be bothered, I am reminded that, Given enough time all things cease to be strange.

When bats at 37 take to flight, Devoid of vibrant plumes unlike most things that fly, Rising like Legion and the hordes of hell, In defiance of extermination attempts, Above the Hospital in elusive figurativeness, Haphazardly, in sync, over constipated traffic There is not a doubt who owns the peppered night.

When bats at 37 take to flight;

Hero Worship

The air is thin And the landing narrow, Up, on the dizzying heights, Where we set our heroes.
There, gusty winds Neither holds brief Nor relief As they threaten to Humble all things that elevate themselves.
When like prayers We've offered flattery On altars of unrealistic expectations And our heroes, like golden calves, Glisten with pride, Know this, There surely is a reckoning When they come tumbling down.
We were the mob at the foot of the mountain Elevating them in adulation
We are the mob at the foot of the mountain Now shouting CRUCIFY HIM, CRUCIFY HIM, CRUCIFY HIM