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They Don't Teach us how to Grieve

They don't teach young men
How to grieve.

Be a man,
Stand strong,
Men don't cry,
They say.

That's how we are made.

There's a conveyor belt
Constantly chucking out
Boys, with pent-up toxic emotions,
Shoulders hunched
under the weight of society's expectations.

There's a piece of wood in my mouth
I bite hard on it
praying I don't black out
As I saw off
another weakness I saw in the mirror.

Something about
Better to enter the Kingdom
With one arm...

I don't know...

A brother died today,
his wounded pride
Poisoned by the bad blood
From the infection
Where he cut off his weaknesses.
He cut, kept cutting
Till there was nothing left.

They don't teach young men
How to grieve,
I'm hurting and I don't know how to deal...

*****October 12, 2017*****

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When bats at 37 take to flight, For me, there's not a more beautiful sight Of creatures, imagined or real, That lay claim to these glorious skies.

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Finding God

The inexplicable
Is proof there's a God.

This, for me,
Is where doubt began.
For if we know today
More than we did yesterday
Then, God is
a constantly contracting chamber of ignorance.

Now if it is so
And God is the Lord of gaps
Then men of religion
May be forgiven
For their unrelenting battle
Against knowledge;
The God Killer.

But if God is
the beginning of wisdom
And his people perish
For lack of knowledge
And if we know today
More than we did yesterday

Then it stands to reason
That the God to believe in
Is an ever-expanding explosion of knowledge.

I have no faith
In the God of gaps
For God must be Omniscient
And ignorance is not
This, for me, is where doubt ends.

*****April 22, 2017*****