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The 7 O' Clock News


Welcome to the Evening News,
I thank you all for tuning in,
In today's bulletin:

Carnage on the county over pass,
Truck carrying illegal timber runs into bus,
15 dead 10 in critical condition,
Driver of truck escapes without an abrasion,
Viewers are warned that pictures may be disturbing.
Eye Witnesses says, truck was overtaking.
Initial investigation reveals, 
truck driver was driving impaired,
Just another one driving under influence.

The local news is brought to you by:
McCoy's number one dry Gin,
“McCoy's Gin, take life for a spin”.
In small prints, barely readable,
Warning,
“18+ Drink responsibly”.

In International News;
Japan pulverized by deadly tsunami.
Libya burning thanks to Gaddafi.
12 killed in Mexican drug violence.
BP responsible for off shore oil spillage.
U.S. war planes in Iraq bombs an Orphanage,
They are calling it acceptable collateral damage.
Ethnic cleansing in Eastern Europe.
Cholera outbreak in indigent Haiti.
3% increase in sub Sahara infant mortality.
Ethnico-religious violence in Sudan.
Famine in Ethiopia and Eritrea,
Victims of Katrina still have no place,
While NASA blows Billions going to space.

A white man who is an expert on Africa,
Explains political tensions in Arabic Africa,
Quoting figures and history dates,
As he explains disturbances in those states,
Gives a complicated analysis while looking smug,

He makes recommendations and solutions,
Nobody bothers to ask him of course,
“Mr. Expert, have you been there before?”

In entertainment news;
DJ Shit-On-Ma-Brain has done it again,
Fourth consecutive week on top of the bill board,
The Multi Platinum musician wins another award,
With his contemporary reggae track,
“I did it with your Gal from the back”,
You will remember him from hits like,
“Sexy Bitches likes it hard and Nice”,
“My Hoes give me sugar and spice”,
“Money, Bitches, Blings and Guns”,
And,
“Weed on my mind, Blood on my hands”.
In response to questions about his success,
He lifted a finger and said, “God is the answer”,
While promising to donate his prize money
To a charity for breast cancer.

In weather reports;
Mist and fog patches expected in the southern belt,
Slight showers in the Savannah might be felt,
Clear blues skies expected from noon,
With temperatures ranging from 35 to 40 degrees.

The next day,
Torrential rains and mudslides make the news.




*****March 13, 2011*****



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